Tomorrow i have agreed to go to the wonderful world of Ikea with Jojo. this i dread. Why? because its like a fucking time warp in there. what feels like 20 minutes is about 6 months of your life. it sucks your will to live, trys to playcate you with sweedish meatballs and sticky buns and cheap cool furniture, but really all its doing is stealing your life force. I swear.
Joe and i had went in for a Chair. 4 HOURS LATER we emerged, the sun was down and i was completely bewildered as to how i lost the afternoon. it was the dreaded IKEA monster. I tell you, i know how they can sell a snazzy couch for 150$. its made out of the souls of the unfortunates that never made it out. and they are seelling them at bargain price!
So help me. If you dont hear from me by 8pm on tuesday night, Send the millitia to the Paramus NJ IKEA and burn the place down. I might still be inside but id rather burn in a firey blaze then have my soul suched out and miss time. There are house i dont even remember... and ill never get that time back. So thats on the list now too...
Time ill never get back:
~the two hours from watchin house of 1000 corpses
~the 2 hours spent watching the forgotten
~the half hour(i swear that was all i could stand before my brain went numb and i started drooling) of Dumb and Dumber
~20 mins(that turned into 4 hours) in the Paramus Ikea
Im sure there are more, but damn it im almost missing a day already. where the fuck did the time go?